Alli (neugotik) wrote,
Alli
neugotik

What are your relationship 'basic needs' ?

I can't recommend this book enough; it's the most down-to-earth & legit. "relationship" book I've ever read - the premises are simple, but I think they are true.

One is, the "love bank" - that is every time someone makes you feel good, or you have fun together they get "deposits" into your love bank - everytime you deal with a stressful situation or are unhappy with someoone they get "withdrawls" from your love bank - thus, the people you live with, often get many more 'withdrawls' just dealing w/the practical stuff- so... you have to have other things that are positive refilling the bank -even more then other friends, because .. they are just around you a lot more. If that makes sense.

The other main idea (which is really the bulk of the book) is that we all have "needs" or expectations in a relationship, and these are different for different people. So, while there are a basic "10 needs" that cover most aspects of relationship interactions - we can't be good on all of them: it's too difficult, so we try & are really good at a few of them. So are every person who we know. Thus, the question becomes: if you could have 5 of your "needs" met by one partner, your love bank would constantly be refilling & you would probably be quite happy with that person, even living together. Ok - well what are the needs?

I'll present them "poll style" - choose the 5 you feel you would Most like to have (hopefully you would get some of all of them, but really - what are the 5 needs you have to have, or you would fell "something's missing"/"I'm unhappy partnering with this person") - be honest! LOL.



So, here's the poll - no answers are wrong - I'm really curious what people consider their top 5 needs to be content in their relationship. Thanks - I hope you find this interesting, too.
------------------------------------------------
Poll #756335 what are your top 5 "needs" in a relationship?

This is based on the idea of Willard F. Harley's book - Not everyone wants all & you may have more then 5 of these needs, but choose the top 5 "needs" you couldn't go without in a relationship, and stay happy. Pick 5 ! None of these are more or less legit - it's hard to pick just 5! But, if that's all you know someone could be really good at - what would you choose??

Affection (this would be "showing affection", i.e. snuggling, holding hands, kissing, gifts, etc.)
0(0.0%)
Sexual Fulfillment (getting enough sex, and so on)
0(0.0%)
Conversation (talking about stuff, ideas, the day - whatever, just the need of conversing; listening & talking regularly)
0(0.0%)
Recreational Companionship (doing fun stuff together, do you want/need your partner there? i.e. games, trips, working out together, cooking together, etc.)
0(0.0%)
Honesty & Openness (this is the need for your partner to disclose everything, not just 'not lying' but also telling you everything, not hiding or withholding information
0(0.0%)
An attractive Spouse(being clean -not just being 'pretty' - i.e. hygeine, being nice smelling, also staying Fit, and being well-dressed - anything that makes a person 'more attractive')
0(0.0%)
Financial Support (this is needing to have your partner kick in on the finances - they'll help make money & share it)
0(0.0%)
Domestic Support(this is getting help from your partner cleaning the house, dishes, laundry, all these day to day items)
0(0.0%)
Family Commitment (this is being a good parent - contributing to taking care of the kids)
0(0.0%)
Admiration (this is basically respect, & getting some kind of acknowledgement that you are admired; your skills, intelligence, career)
0(0.0%)
Tags: ideas, polls, psychology
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 5 comments