Alli (neugotik) wrote,
Alli
neugotik

Morning has reality to it, the meaning of 'Revel', discord with corporate america, then a wild goose

How I prepare for my work-a-day world:

  • have a wonderful morning with Aurora each day, and let Athena watch & try to play, too...

  • drop off Aurora at Kindergarten

  • listen to NPR Mid-morning on the drive to work, today she is interviewing an author about her new book

  • park by the pond surrounded by a small forest, on the side-wing of our parking lot

  • roll down the windows & eat something for breakfast, today it is a trailmix cookie while I listen to music now: "E-Pro" by Beck, off the album Guerno.. I feel like I am letting my soul loose to play for a few minutes in side-lot of corporate america

  • I reflect on my inner self my inner self, throwing paint on a canvas, hair up in a ponytail to stay out of my way, wiry strong & a tendency to wear red t-shirts tied tight around a different body, but my own self-image, is that odd? </lj> I have always liked girl punk bands (Huggie Bear, Slant 7, etc).. I think my inner self is taller, but really, she's just more self-expressive. My outward self takes the lid off my coffee to get the drops out of the bottom. Why not take the lid off? I think, hell: my normal self drinks water & if it pours down my shirt I ignore it & keep drinking the water anyway: this is real. In my inner self, the shirt is red. Otherwise, I think we are the same.

  • I take another bite & reflect on part of the conversation with Aurora driving her to school I see clouds & blossoming trees while driving Aurora to Kindergarten & point them out, and she points out stores.. where she borrows DVD's; I say "Aurora isn't that tree with flowers wonderfuL?!" and she says "Yes, it is!" and I say "It is spring when all the trees are blooming; revel in it." And she doesn't respond so I say "Revel means to enjoy something very much, it's kind of like, .. rolling around in the enjoyment of it, it is so wonderful." And then she said "Mom, I revel in you." ; "I revel in you, too Aurora." I am amazed by her. I take another bite of cookie / walnuts, dried cranberries, coconut. It's like a small hike up a mountain contained in a cookie, which is actually a meal; somehow it satisfies my soul, .. a little bit. I think it's also nostalgia, me, raised climbing mountains, watching birds, gardening, swimming in lakes, being in-tune w/the earth, the dirt : that dead tree over there, full of bird holes, and animal holes: it's got a bird call coming from it now. Mom would know what bird that is, just by its call. *sigh* That's a beautiful sound.

  • I change radio stations, now to hear Interpol's song "untitled"

  • A goose cuts across the water: it's so beautiful, somehow it seems in its own world: water, .. trees, air. My bubble of Intrepol's calming music is a defense against a corporate world & lifestyle that this gorgeous wild goose need not worry about. It's living here, but it's world does not account for nor care about the corporate policies and strings/tendrils of the building not so far away. Or maybe somehow it knows, but it certainly doesn't bother itself with that. It is truly disentangled.

  • I write some notes on my hands. "This is true life" I write down. I don't want to forget any of it. I don't want to forget my life when I walk into work.

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