It's like: wow, I was drowsy and so ready to sleep at 7pm. Then I finally got everything done for "the day" the checklist is basically good - and now, NOW? I have energy. Stupid brain Stupid body. Where is this adrenaline when I have any use for it? It is not like I have a boyfriend or partner to spend time with - I just suddenly have excess energy, and .. it's dark and a I'm alone, except for sleeping kids.
Hm, guess I'll change the laundry & clean my room - not like I have anything fun to do at this hour.
Oh, and another side- note : just while I'm doing a mental mind-dump of concerns: Buddhism is not an easy religion: it's freaking intense and studied. I don't understand why so many slacker types try to take it up: go to Paganism or something low key with mediation and reflection : Buddhism is actually very strict and hard. I donno. Not that I am, personally,either: Ijust am shocked by the people drawn to this who then, don't put time and study into it (no one on my flist take this personallY: this is really a global rant not directed any any of my, actually numerous, friends who are Buddhist &/or Pagan: both religions are beautiful and good, you will certainly find your own paths) but - really Buddhism is so technical and specific and restrictive in some very intense ways. I donno. Not that Pagan or Wicca or any other religion is any easier - I'm sure every choice has it's restrictive and lax edges and the norm in the middle, it's just my perspective and rambling here.. sorry if I offended anyone.
gah. Laundry, then I'm going off to my bed to try to just lie in the dark until I sleep. usually works. eventually.
Clustered in frozen portraits
Blossoms that bloom so fine, just to drop from the vine
I've seen them all tonight
Who'd keep a silent orchard
I'll shove it all to the floor boards
Her rusty heart starts to whine, in its telltale time so
For freedom tonight
Life is a measly portion
A light on good friends and fortune
It strips you away inside, drawn all your blinds
Conceal it all from sight
Excerpt from "tonight" - by Tv on the Radio