Alli (neugotik) wrote,

heh hehe

Ambrose Bierce, US author & satirist (1842 - 1914) famous for his writings of which some, published regularly in a paper between 1881 until 1906 eventually comprised the work entitled, The Devil's Dictionary, a satirical & polical work formatted like dictionary definitions.

Here are some of his quotes (hopefully they'll create a few smiles somewhere out there! *grin*), the ones that look like definitions are outtakes from the Dictionary:

  • ABSCOND, v.i. To "move in a mysterious way," commonly with the property of another.
  • ABSURDITY, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
  • ACQUAINTANCE, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
  • BORE, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
  • BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other
  • CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on.
  • HURRY, n. The dispatch of bunglers.
  • NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.
  • NONSENSE, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary
  • PLAN, v.t. To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
  • POSITIVE, adj. Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
  • "There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know."
  • TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.
  • TRUCE, n. Friendship.
  • "In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office."
  • ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
  • "As to me, I leave here tomorrow for an unknown destination."
    -- The last line of the last letter from Ambrose Bierce,
    December 26, 1913

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